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| Concillia Muonde |
“Lawyers are made, not born.” But who makes them, and under what conditions?
It is a truism in our profession that mentorship matters. The collective development of our legal community depends not only on what is taught in law school or found in jurisprudence but also on the conversations, nudges and corrections that occur between lawyers outside formal structures, moments that cannot be scheduled but must be welcomed.
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The diversity disconnect: Invitation is not inclusion
The legal profession has made visible strides toward greater diversity. Law societies now report more gender-balanced calls, and racialized, Indigenous, 2SLGBTQIA+ and internationally trained lawyers are entering practice in greater numbers than ever before. However, presence does not equal participation. And inclusion is not guaranteed by invitation alone.
We often encourage new members of the profession to attend social events, join bar associations and participate in CPDs. Yet, those who show up to these spaces often find themselves in rooms where social capital is already held in tightly bonded circles.
Colleagues congregate with those they know. Conversations begin midstream, rooted in shared histories and familiar narratives. Introductions are rare. Icebreakers are assumed. The resulting experience, though unintentional, is often alienating.
And for many, exclusion is further compounded by identity-based dynamics: the stress of being the only racialized person in the room; the discomfort of overhearing banter not meant to include you; or the self-consciousness of speaking with an accent that triggers correction or condescension. These are not minor irritants. They are structural signals of who belongs, and who must continually prove they do.
The risk of approach: Sexual harassment and misuse of power
Another under-discussed deterrent to approachability, particularly between senior and junior lawyers, is the risk of impropriety or harassment. For many women, non-binary and gender-diverse lawyers, navigating professional relationships involves constant vigilance: Will this informal coffee be misconstrued? Will this outreach open the door to unwanted attention?
Rule 6.3.1-1 of the Law Society of Ontario’s Rules of Professional Conduct squarely prohibits discrimination and harassment in all professional dealings, and its Commentary makes clear that abuse of power within mentorship or supervisory contexts is particularly harmful. These concerns are not hypothetical. Reports across Canada have confirmed that sexual harassment persists in many areas of legal practice, often unchecked.
As such, junior lawyers, especially women and those from historically excluded groups, may choose to limit engagement rather than risk exposure. While understandable, this has a corrosive effect on the mentorship ecosystem. It silences those who most need feedback, isolates those who most need support, and ultimately deprives the profession of a generative, accountable culture.
Those with greater institutional and social power, whether by seniority, gender, race or positional authority, must not only avoid harm. They must actively build trust. We must take steps to ensure that mentorship is safe, structured and mutually respectful.
Personality is not a proxy for professional potential
Too often, the burden of connection is placed on the junior lawyer: “Put yourself out there.” “Find a mentor.” “Ask for feedback.” But this overlooks a critical truth: not all lawyers are extroverts, and not all forms of excellence are outgoing.
Some, if not most, brilliant lawyers are cautious, observant and softly spoken individuals whose value lies not in their volume but in their clarity. If these individuals are sidelined socially, they may miss mentorship and peer feedback that are essential to their growth.
Approachability, then, must not be left to personal inclination. It must be a professional norm. Rule 2.1-1, the foundational statement of a lawyer’s duties, calls for integrity, civility and good faith in all dealings, including those with colleagues. Mentorship is not charity. Collegiality is not optional. Both are part of the ethical infrastructure of practice.
Group identity and the reputation of the profession
There is also a reputational dimension to approachability. As lawyers, we are not judged solely as individuals; we are judged as a group. Stereotypes about lawyers as cold, arrogant, combative or self-interested affect us all and erode public confidence in the administration of justice.
Thus, Rule 6.01(1) of the Rules of Professional Conduct imposes a duty to “encourage a spirit of collegiality and respect for the profession.” Rule 6.01(3) goes further, affirming a lawyer’s duty to assist in the “development of the profession,” including mentoring new lawyers, supporting their integration and sharing professional insight.
When we are open to one another, offering constructive feedback, modelling humility and building rapport, we uphold the integrity of our profession as a whole. We also enable a culture where learning can occur without shame. Constructive criticism becomes possible. Lawyers are more willing to ask for help or admit mistakes. In short, we move from performance to professionalism.
What approachability may look like
Approachability is not performative. It is not just being “nice.” It is a professional posture, one that conveys respect, availability and welcome. It is how we give life to Rule 6 in daily practice.
Some elementary examples include:
- A senior lawyer noticing a junior colleague standing alone at an event and choosing to engage.
- A barrister openly discussing a motion or trial loss, not to self-deprecate, but to normalize the reality of legal practice.
- A managing partner rotating speaking time in meetings, ensuring that newer voices are heard.
- A barrister complimenting opposing counsel on a well-crafted factum, even in defeat.
- A committee chair who ensures meeting minutes are distributed accessibly, and that invitations to new members are not ceremonial but intentional.
- A judge complimenting counsel on well-written materials and submissions.
These are not grand gestures. They are small, deliberate acts of professional care that say: You are seen. You are welcome. You matter here.
The courage to connect
Approachability is not about personality. It is about professional responsibility. If lawyers are indeed made, not born, then we must take seriously our role in shaping one another.
We must recognize that excellence does not emerge in isolation. It is built through feedback, correction, example and community. And that community must be actively cultivated, not merely assumed.
The Friendly Bar is not just a metaphor. It is a precondition for a just and sustainable profession. If we want to elevate our craft, protect our collective reputation and reflect the public we serve, we must create conditions in which all lawyers, not just the confident or connected, can thrive.
Let us each ask ourselves: What might our profession become if we were just a little more friendly to one another? (Poorly punned.)
This is the part three of a series. Part one: The Friendly Bar series, No. 1: Do not define a lawyer by one case; part two: The Friendly Bar series, No. 2: A Canada Day toast to the quiet work, and one another.
Concillia Muonde, B.Sc. (Econ), B.S.W. (Hons), M.S.W., J.D., is the founder and principal of Concillia Muonde Law Office, a family law practice based in Ottawa. Drawing on a multidisciplinary background in law, social work and economics, she brings a trauma-informed, client-directed approach to resolving family law matters. Her practice is focused on supporting survivors of family violence, LGBTQ+ clients and others navigating complex parenting and relationship breakdowns.
The opinions expressed are those of the author and do not reflect the views of the author’s firm, its clients, Law360 Canada, LexisNexis Canada or any of its or their respective affiliates. This article is for general information purposes and is not intended to be and should not be taken as legal advice.
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